Nothing But My Destiny
by candylyn
Summary: Jubilee must make a scarifice in order to ensure that the future will be a bright one for those closest to her.


Nothing But My Destiny  
by candy  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men.  
Notes- I have been trying to figure out what the deal is with Gateway in reference to Jubilee and Logan, this is what I came up with.  
  
Dedicated to a friend ... she knows who she is.  
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Ten Years From Now  
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"Aunt Jubilee, why are you so sad?" Raven asked. Looking down into her Goddaughter's big brown doe eyes, Jubilee resolved not to lie to her.  
  
"Because, I am going to miss you." Was all she said. Jubilee won't tell the girl everything, death was hard enough to deal with at such a young age, no need in traumatizing the girl before it happened.  
  
"But Momma said I can come see you and Daddy next weekend." Raven's voice was thick with confusion.  
  
"I know Honey, I know..." Jubilee said while pulling the five year old deeper into her embrace. Jubilee eased back on the arm of the big leather chair and slung her legs over the opposite side allowing her legs to dangle innocently over the side. Raven curled into a tight ball on Jubilee's lap and rested her head against the softness of her beloved 'Aunt' Jubilee's breast.   
  
The child could hear the steady drumming of the older woman's heartbeat. As time slowly drifted by Raven was lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm. Jubilee rested her chin on the top of the child's head, allowing the curled black locks of the toddler's hair to cushion her cheek. She whispered a silent prayer that nothing would disturb this moment, but as always Jubilee's rarely got what she prayed for.  
  
"Jubes!?!" Logan's horse voice echoed through the still and quiet library so loudly that Raven awoke with a fearful start.  
  
"Over here Wolvie," Jubilee whispered as she soothed the startled girl string in her lap.  
  
As Logan rounded the corner to where his 'ladies' where resting he could feel a stubble disturbance in the air. As he stood over Jubilee, he could literally smell her angst and worry. "Problem Jubes?" he asked as he squatted in front of them.   
  
"Nope, just been trying to get Raven to sleep and I had succeeded until a certain loud mouthed mutant we both know ... and love, cane in here yelling like a madman. This is a library ya know." Jubilee said in a rather weak voice, odd considering that Logan would have quessed that she'd use her more sarcastic tone to deliver such a venomous rebuttal.  
  
Logan, had learned along time ago that if Jubilee didn't want to talk about something she won't talk about it until she was ready too, end of story. He looked deep into her sapphire blue eyes, wordlessly telling her that he'd be there when she was ready to talk about what was bugging her. She meekly smiled and nodded.  
  
Handing Raven over to her father, Jubilee slowly crawled out of her comfortable but ackward position in the giant leather chair. Logan cradled his pride and joy, awaiting Jubilee to join his side.   
  
The trio made their way to the dinning hall. Jean and Scott waved them over, Logan subconscencely rolled his eyes. Even though his feelings for Jean were long buried, Logan still found it hard to deal with old One Eye. Yet, when Jubilee tugged on his arm he followed her to the table and sat down.  
  
After a surprising pleasant dinner, Logan escorted Jubilee to her room. Jubilee kissed Raven goodnight and gave Logan her usual hug and peck on the cheek, though tonight she seemed to hold him longer, allowed her lips to linger on his rough cheek a few seconds more. "Night, Darlin'," Logan whispered in her ear. He again looked her in her eyes, he saw a deep longing inside her blue orbs that she normally hide from him, but for some reason she allowed herself to slip. Something was wrong.  
  
"Jubes... ya sure..." he fumbled over his tongue as he spoke to her.  
  
"Logan I am fine," she giggled, as if the snicker would add sincerity to her lie. If anything it only made him more suspicious.  
  
As Logan slowly turned away from her, he allowed his eyes to behold her a moment longer, as if he was waiting for her to call him back but she didn't. As he moved down the hall, Raven tugged on his shirt tails and looked up at him wantonly. "Yeah, Darlin'?"  
  
"I wanna say somethin' to Aunt Jubilee 'fore we go to bed Daddy?" her plea was heart felt and slightly desperate.   
  
"Sure Darlin', ya know..." before Logan could complete the sentence Raven ran from his side and back to Jubilee, who had remained at her door watching them walk down the hall.  
  
"Auntie J, Auntie J!!!!" The child called was she flung herself at Jubilee. Jubilee received the girl with arms wide open. "I love you Aunt Jubilee, I love you with all my heart." Raven said in Jubilee's ear. Jubilee squeezed her tight. A bit of jealousy welled up in Jubilation Lee's heart, she wished Raven had been her little girl, she wished that destiny had not denied her Logan, she wished ... she wished...she wished. But like all her wishes, those were not going to come true.  
  
After a moment longer Raven slide out of Jubilee's arms and returned to her father's side. Both Jubilee and Logan exchanged long glances. Logan's eyes held all the confusion in the world, he wondered why Jubilee had been so distant recently, he wondered why she'd been so determined to get Raven up here this weekend, and most of all he wondered what was happening now. He looked at Jubilee, a rambunctious girl he'd seen grow into a beautiful determined woman, and again saw her putting distance between them.  
  
She turned her eyes away from him, a move that demanded that he not pry. She turned the knob on her door and entered her room, closing the door behind her.  
  
Sitting on her bed, she recovered a small leather bound book from her night stand and opened it. Leafing through, she saw pages filled with drawings of familiar faces and deeds down and forgotten about. The whole thing with her and Logan in Asia, his going feral, her leaving to go to the Massachusetts Academy, his becoming Apocalypse's Horseman death and how she saved him from that, Scott's death and return, her return to the team, Logan's short marriage to Elektra and the birth of Raven.   
  
It was then that Jubilee's eyes began to water. For this was a diary, but not her's. this diary was belonged to woman named Irene also known as Destiny. When Jubilee entered Gateway's portal so many years ago, she never know what it would lead to; what wonders she would see.  
  
Gateway gave her the book shortly after she arrived at the X-Men's Australia base. She looked at it and it terrorified her. Her future had been laid out before her like some comic book, by a woman some thirty years before Jubilee had been born.   
  
At first, it had been Jubilee's intention to do everything she could to change what happened to her in the book, especially the ending but as time went on ... as she grew close to Logan, as she drew closer to the X-Men and then Raven, she accepted her destiny and realized that no matter how much she wished for things to be different, no matter how much she prayed, no matter what all she had was her destiny.  
  
For years Storm lead a team to recover all the books, after finding no trace of the this, the last book, she gave up and counted the book forever lost or destroyed.  
  
Tonight, Jubilation Lee was going to fulfill her destiny and it would be for the love of man she can't have and a child that's not even her's that would get her through. Her love for them would see her through.  
  
She flipped through to the middle of the book, bypassing her own fate to that of Raven's, how bright and shiny the child's future was going to be. Then she flipped to the back of the book. It was like looking at a double edged sword, it confirmed that Logan would be happy just not with her. Slamming the book shut Jubilee closed her eyes and allowed small tears to roll down her face. She could still feel Raven's arms hugging her neck and the rough bristly hair of Logan's cheek brushing against her lips.   
  
She wasn't crying because of what she had to do, she wasn't crying for herself, she was crying because of how much this would hurt them. The book made that clear, they would hurt for years and years but they would recover and be stronger for it.   
  
In the corner of the room, a swirl of light appeared snapping her out of her daydreams. As the bright light dimmed, she could clearly see Gateway standing there. He looked her in her eyes, even he seemed to have a hint of sadness in his normally unreadable eyes.  
  
He reached out with his left hand and recovered the book. He smirked, almost smiled at her. The corners of her mouth turned upwards slightly, "I am not scared." He nodded. Then the same way he appeared to her, he vanished.   
  
After a few minutes, Jubilee could hear Logan's boots stomping down the hall coming towards her door. Just as Destiny's diary fore told.  
  
"Jubilee," Logan asked while softly tapping on her door.  
  
"Come in," she said trying to mask her tears.  
  
Logan stepped into he room and stood in the doorway for a minute. He could smell Gateway in the room, but the sent was fading now. "had a visit from the troll I smell," he grunted while tapping his nose.  
  
"No biggie." She returned.  
  
"Well, gotta favor to ask. Mind if me and the gang go to Harry's. Jean and Betsy went some PTA meeting and there's no one to watch Raven."  
  
"My pleasure, Wolvie. Have a good time," She said with the wave of her hand.   
  
"Thanks Darlin'," He said with a big smile. She looked at his face all light up with happiness and it broke her heart. She knew that smile would be absent for many years to come.  
  
He nodded one last time and vacated the room. Jubilee forced herself to etch the expression on his face into her memory. Exhaling, she got up and went into Logan's room. Crawling into his bed, she cradled Raven close to her. What ever was about to happen would require them to get out of the room fast. As the hours ticked, by Jubilee slipped into a peaceful sleep.  
  
At first, she thought the popping sound was the gang returning from Harry's, but when she smelled the smoke, she knew that couldn't be true. *This is it.* she said to herself. She sat up in the bed like a shot. The room was dark and filled with black smoke. *A FIRE!!!!* Jubilee rolled her eyes. She grabbed Raven and immediately went for the window. She punched in Logan's very basic code, 4321, which should have opened the window. After several violent tugs at the handle, Jubilee noticed that the neither the green or red light was blinking on the window's control panel.  
  
*Electricity's out, SHIT!!* Everything in the house was electrical, from the windows and doors to the sprinklers. But where was the back up generators? Then a cryptic thought crossed her mind, *What if it was the back up generators that caught on fire?* Hank had been having problems with them all week.   
  
In Destiny's diary, it was clear that there would fire, but Jubilee had assumed that fire would be caused by some massive explosion, not some faulty wire in a generator.   
  
At this point Raven was screaming and hollering so loud that Banshee would be impressed. Jubilee ripped a blanket off the bed and covered both their heads in hopes of cutting the amount of smoke entering their lungs.   
  
It was then that Jubilee could hear the sound cracking floorboards. She was only allowed a few seconds to look up before the ceiling caved in on her and Raven in a fire avalanche of timbers and plaster. Jubilee dropped to the floor, next to the bed and pinned Raven beneath her. The pressure of the burning materials crushed her back, but a rush of adrenaline filled Jubilee's small frame. She managed to push up just a little and slide Raven under the bed to relative safety.  
  
As soon as Jubilee was sure that the child was safe, she could feel the blanket catch fire. Jubilee knew that her end was near. "Close your eyes Baby, it's a bad dream, just close your eyes." She ordered Raven as calm as she could considering that she could feel the heat of the fire burning her back.  
  
"Auntie J, help me!!!" Raven cried out.   
  
"Helps on the way Sweetheart." Jubilee hissed trying to hide the pain she was in. Then the flames consumed her body right in front of Raven's tender eyes. "CLOSE YOUR EYES RAVEN CLOSE THEM NOW!!!" Jubilee yelled. The child did as she was ordered, turning away from the horrid sight of her beloved Aunt Jubilee's fire engulfed body.  
  
For a few moments all Raven could hear was Jubilee's high pitched voice screaming for mercy. Then the rancid smell of cooked flesh filled her nose, followed by an errie silence.  
  
Raven refused to open her eyes, she didn't want to see what was happening around her. But when the bed began to buckle, her eyes popped open and she started to scream for all she was worth.  
  
Soon, Raven could hear a loud crack then the boom of thunder. "Auntie Ro," she whispered to herself. "Auntie J IT'S AUNTIE...." The child made the mistake of rolling over to where Jubilee had been. Only the flaming skull of her beloved aunt remained.  
  
Before she could start to cry, a deluge of water flooded the room. And soon there was nothing but smoke and steam mixing together. "RAVEN!!! JUBILEE!!!" Raven could hear her father's feral voice desperately calling to his girls.  
  
"DADDY, HELP ME, HELP ME DADDY!!!" Raven called to him as tears broke free from her beautiful eyes. Logan kicked in the charred door and the smell hit him instantly, though his brain refused to process it. He could hear Raven moving around under the bed that was covering in smoking debris. Like some possessed mad man Logan lifted the bed up and tossed it aside like it was a tissue. Raven laid in a tight ball, crying hysterically.  
  
"Baby, Daddy's here," he said as he enveloped her into his embrace. He turned his head, scanning the room for Jubilee. As he looked downward he saw the smoking skull. Reflectively, his claws popped out. Pulling Raven tighter into his bearish hug, Logan howled the cry of a man who's heart had been forever broken.  
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Forty Years Later  
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Joy had been on the road all day. It was hot, she was tired and wanted nothing more than a shower, a meal and a bed. She looked down the long stretch of desert rode and saw a small old red jeep quickly approaching. She prayed a quick prayer that the drive would pick her up then poked her thumb out.  
  
As the jeep pulled up, she was surprised that it did in fact stop. She took a good look at the ancient vehicle and noted that it was better condition than some new cars. She cautiously approached the passenger's side door, which had been removed, and peeked in.  
  
"You coming Kid?" A horse voice grunted. She ran her hands through her black hair and blinked her blue eyes twice. After her sunburned eyes adjusted, she got a better look at the driver. He was short, very short. His hair long graying hair was pulled back tightly into a pony tail. His bushy sideburns framed dark green eyes that somehow held a gentle kindness within their menacing depths. The deep lines around his eyes and the ware on his face said that he might be in his late forties or early fifties, but his well toned body called his face a liar. Just as she was about to hope in, she saw the oddest crisscrossing of scars on the backs of his hand. She swallowed hard, but took her seat. Something from her memories, to her surprise, told her he was trustworthy.  
  
As he started the jeep up, she continued to look around her new surroundings. Taped to the dashboard was a faded photo of an adorable child and a beautiful Asian young woman with incredible blue eyes.  
  
"Your wife and kid?" Joy asked pointing to the photo. She already knew she was only half right.  
  
"Kid yeah, wife..." his voice trailed off sadly, "no, just a little part of my soul I lost a few years ago, Darlin'."  
  
"Oh", she said. She stared at the photo a bit longer. Her powers started to kick in, she may not have been his wife, but he loved as much as a husband could love his wife, maybe more. Oddly, the situation seem deadly familiar to her.   
  
"Where ya headed, Darlin'?" he grunted.  
  
"Nowhere's just outta this damn heat." She said as she eased back into the chair.  
  
"Young girl like you need be going some place." He returned.   
  
It was then that she had the strangest feeling of deja'vu she'd ever experienced, and that's saying something considering that she was a precognitive mutant. She reached into her small napsack and rummaged through her small collections of belongings until she found a small leather notebook.   
  
Opening the diary, she flipped past the first few drawers until she found the first in a series of pictures featuring the woman in his photo as a girl and the man sitting next to her. As flipped on, there were horrific drawers of the woman's dramatic death. Joy gasped, she'd always hated that section of the book, but the small Aboriginie that had given her the book as a child assured her that all of that had already happened.  
  
Joy thumbed through the book until she reached the center. There was a drawing of a young girl growing into womanhood and becoming something special. Like a shining beckon that lead the masses to enlightenment, the person who had unite mutants and mankind during the war with the Shi'ar. *The Raven.* she thought to herself.  
  
As she continued on, she came to a page with a drawing of herself on this dusty road being picked up by a man, the man sitting next to her. She continued to flip through the pages. In great detail, the drawers fore told her adventures with her new friend. She'd known about this for years now, and after her parents died she'd actively searched for him. As the book showed they'd finally found each other.  
  
Finally, she reached the late two facing pages. On the first page was a drawing of her in a white dress kissing him. The last page was blank. She looked at him again, and laughed. "Something funny in your book Darlin'?" 


End file.
